Six Signs A Job Interview Could Be Competitive Intelligence

You're sitting in a job interview fielding the interviewer's questions when you start to get a queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Is this interviewer interested in hiring me, or is he or she simply interested in learning more about my former employer? Let's talk about competitive intelligence disguised as a job interview!

Competitive intelligence is the practice of gaining strategic information about the competition. It can take many forms, from surfing competitors' social media and corporate websites to visiting their booths at trade shows to...interviewing job applicants a company has no intention of hiring but definitely wants to "talk to," ahem. Oh, this person used to work at [insert name of major competitor]? Call her today and set something up.

Is this hiring "practice" totally skeezy? Yes. How often is it happening? It's very hard to know, because survey organizations aren't asking the insightful question: "In the last six months, have you interviewed a job applicant you had no intention of hiring but you interviewed him or her anyway because the applicant used to work for a main competitor?"

Let's look at this topic from the perspective of the non-non-compete-bound job applicant who is sitting in a job interview and suddenly feels like he or she is on a date with someone who wants to know all about his or her best friend. She seems really nice! What kind of music does she like? We should all go out together sometime. I notice that she seems to hang out with so-and-so a lot, are they a thing? Okay, here's her phone number, give her a call and ask her these questions yourself. Ask her out on a date while you're at it. Waiter, could you hurry it up with the check so I can go home, pull out the Ben And Jerry's and watch 20/20?

But enough about my 20s. The "tell me A LOT more about your former/current employer" job interview can sure feel like a date that's going nowhere, can't it?

Here are six warning signs that a job interview might have an underlying layer of competitive intelligence at play, courtesy of a Job-hunt.org article that inspired this blog post in the first place:

1. The interviewer is evasive. You want to know more about the job opening, but you're not receiving any concrete answers to your questions. The person interviewing you sure has a lot of questions about your former employer though, doesn't he?

2. There is no job description. Does the employer have a written copy of the job description for your review, or at the very least, a concrete, in-depth overview of the skill set the job will require, the clientele, the work, and any opportunities for advancement?

3. The company contacts you. An interested employer seeking you out, instead of the other way around, could in itself be a warning sign -- especially if the job opening hasn't been posted or published anywhere.

4. The interviewer is focused on the future. Instead of asking about your background and discussing how it fits the job opening, the interviewer keeps asking about your former or current employer's future plans for customers, marketing, strategy, and on and on.

5. The interviewer ventures beyond your expertise. You don't work in sales, but the interviewer asks many questions about sales and other areas of expertise at your former company that are not within your purview. In fact, the interviewer may not seem all that interested in the type of work you've been trained to do. No really, my field of expertise is interesting!

6. The interview happens in an offbeat place. Perhaps the interviewer invites you to interview at the company, or perhaps not. If the location feels odd, it might indicate an odd situation. (Hint: if you're meeting at 2 a.m. in a dark, underground parking garage like in the movie All the President's Men, then that's probably not a good sign.)

The best thing you can do in these situations is to listen to your gut, and to act with ethics and integrity. I have faith in you; you're a smart cookie who can read between the lines to see what someone is really asking. Waiter, check, please! Don't worry, eventually you'll find someone who likes you for you. Here, have the last scoop of Ben and Jerry's. Where's the teevee remote?

How To Correct Co-workers Who Mispronounce Your Name

Pop quiz: How do you pronounce "gif," as in GIF file? Do you pronounce it with a hard "g" as in "golf," or with a soft "g" as in "giraffe"?

If, like many of us, you've been pronouncing GIF with a hard "g" all of these years, then rest assured that you've been pronouncing it all wrong. The creator of the GIF file just settled an ongoing debate by announcing that the word is actually pronounced "jif." Just like the peanut butter. As in, "Haha! I love this hilarious JIF file!"

So, you should start admiring everyone else's funny JIF files from now on. Let's update our pronunciations all at once and start getting it right!

By the way, GIF stands for "Graphic Interchange Format," which is a format for storing web browser images. I've been told that there's also JPEG, which is a higher quality form of storage but it doesn't allow for cool, moving animations (or highly distracting and annoying animations, depending on your viewpoint) such as this one.

If you're like me, then your first reaction to the GIF gaffe was to think You mean I've been saying it wrong all this time!? Really? Gee, I wish I'd know this about 15 to 20 years ago. It's sort of like finding out months (or years) later that you've been mispronouncing a co-worker's first name (or surname) the entire time. You mean it's "CAR-y" instead of "Carry"? Damn. How did I miss that, and why didn't anyone bother to correct me two years ago?

Yes, why didn't your co-worker bother to correct you two years ago?

Most likely, somewhere in the haze of being a new hire your co-worker didn't feel comfortable or confident enough to correct everyone in the office. I don't want to make waves, and so I'll just run with it for now and correct people later. So the boss completely butchers the new hire's name in the process of introducing him or her to everyone else in the office, and the mispronunciation sticks forevermore -- or at least, until the employee gains enough comfort and/or confidence on the job to reveal that her name is actually pronounced "MEE-chelle" instead of "Mis-SHELL." It's sort of like finding out that "gif" is pronounced "jif" years and years after the fact.

Perhaps the employee lets the misspelling or mispronunciation stick permanently and then goes on to literary fame like Captain Underpants author Dav Pilkey. Dav? Who names their kid Dav? No one, that's who. As the story goes, Dav Pilkey's pen name is the result of a workplace snafu years ago when DAVE Pilkey was starting a new job at Pizza Hut and his co-worker made a name tag for him that read "Dav." Yes, his co-worker forgot to add the "e." So Mr. Pilkey proceeded, quite humorously in retrospect, to go by "Dav" on the job, which must have created a nice sense of work-life balance. At work, I am Dav. At home, I am Dave. Later on, he become a best-selling author using the workplace misspelling of his name from years ago. Not bad, dud. (I'll let you add the "e" yourself.)

Most likely, however, any long-standing mispronunciation of your name will get to you after awhile. My advice? Don't be afraid to correct your new co-workers gently and kindly early on -- and repeatedly, if necessary. It's your name, it's your very identity, and you deserve to have it spelled and pronounced correctly if that's what you prefer. Trust me, I've spent a lot of time hearing my last name mispronounced over the years, thanks to my funky Finnish surname that people always convert into a Spanish-sounding moniker. In Finnish, the accent is always -- always! -- on the first syllable but no one knows this because no one even knows where Finland is, and so they say things like "Table for Pen-TEEYA!" only to have a blonde, blue-eyed Scandinavian suddenly appear out of nowhere. So I started using "Chris" instead, only to have people automatically assume that I'm a man, but somehow having my gender mistaken is better than hearing my surname mispronounced.

It's one thing, however, to have your name misspoken in a restaurant setting by a hostess with whom you might interact once in your entire life; it's quite another to have your name repeatedly misspelled and misspoken by people you see every day on the job. I know someone who doesn't know how to pronounce the boss's name correctly after nearly five years of employment and still isn't sure how to ask for the proper pronunciation. It happens.

If you've been working under an assumed identity for the last few years, it's okay to come clean and tell your co-workers how to speak and spell your name correctly. As in, it's Dave instead of Dav. Be nice about it, though, because your co-worker(s) could feel suddenly chagrined if not slightly horrified. How did I get it wrong? You mean I've been mispronouncing/misspelling your name for the last year? Remember, you didn't offer a correction up front, and so you have to take part of the blame. It's only fair. Of course, your co-worker may be refusing, either as a result of sheer laziness or an underhanded sense of disrespect, to learn your name correctly. No one would blame you for mispronouncing his or her name until the records are properly updated.

If you've been tasked with introducing a new hire to the rest of the staff, please take ten seconds before doing so to pull the new hire aside and ask him or her how to spell and pronounce his or her first and last names correctly. It doesn't matter if her name is Jane Smith or his name is Jack Johnson. For all you know, she could pronounce it "Jan Smythe" and he could go by "Jake Joneson," and he or she may, or may not, be willing to correct you upon introduction. (Any resemblance to real-life circumstances is completely unintentional.) Off-kilter, strange pronunciations are not out of the realm of possibility these days with so many parents coming up with ever more "unique" names.

It's all in a name, right? Getting each other's names right from the get-go could save us a lot of potential embarrassment in the workplac. I'll let you add the "e" yourself. Sorry, I can't help myself.

Should Companies Make Employees Wear Google Glass, Or Ban It?

Google Glass. The thick-framed, Hipster-lite spectacles of the tech set that manage to look just as silly and annoying when worn in public. But what if your employer started requiring you to wear them all day on the job? There simply isn't enough Pabst Blue Ribbon in the world for that, is there?

Be forewarned that some tech writers are forewarning of the "benefits" of Google Glass in the workplace. From ultimate note-taking to greater efficiency to safety regulation enforcement, Google Glass could be just what myopic employers are looking for in an increasingly smaller world. But are they considering the risks to employee morale?

Namely, that many employees do not want to work around other employees who, potentially, could be taping everything they say and do, and then potentially forwarding this information to the boss, who could then march over to the employee's cubicle and make him go back to the restroom to wash his hands for 20 seconds because Google Glass says that he washed his hands for only 4.2 seconds. The boss could also try to reduce employees' "excess movements." Glimpse the future folks! As ZD Net reports:

...as management peers through the virtual vision of their employees' Google Glass, they might notice that it is taking 10 hand movements to perform a task when it only requires three hand movements to get it done. Time for employee training to cut down on excess movements! (Apply it to other less physical operations too).

Could these "excess movements" also come to include how many times employees leave their cubicles per hour, how long it takes them to walk to reception and back, and who took the last bag of Bugles from the break room?

Google Glass could allow managers to spy (really, there's no other word for it) on employees all day long, every day. From monitoring proper hand washing in the office restroom to counting errant keystrokes, it will all be there, recorded, waiting for managers to get back from lunch to review before the next status update meeting. I see that you made five trips to reception this morning, Bob, when you really didn't need to go more than twice. Let's take a look into the looking glass, shall we?

A recent survey finds the majority of corporate HR departments are still scratching their heads and asking, "Um, what's a Google Glass? Does it come with a lid and a straw?" while Silicon Valley technology companies are ten steps ahead perfecting the future workplace uses of Google Glass. Of course, our hip, cutting-edge tech friends are now calling it Corporate Glass. HR, just try to keep up, will you?

Go ahead and put me on the record as predicting that the potential workplace efficiency gains of Google/Corporate Glass will not be greater than the overall security and morale risks. Workplaces have some very, very good reasons to ban Google/Corporate Glass. Employees don't need the "benefits" of Google Glass at work; they are simply trying to keep the benefits they already have, such as healthcare, which they could lose suddenly if, say, a co-worker decides to use Google Glass against them in some way.

Sure, there could be real benefits to this technology at work (precise note taking, for example) but risks abound as well. Newer versions of technology emerge every day, but human nature has had the same operating system for thousands of years without any upgrade in sight. There are bound to be a few incompatibility issues. Who, exactly, is thinking through the very-real people/HR issues related to Google Glass? How will managers plan for the downsides of human nature as they plot the upsides of Google Glass adoption?

These are the real workplace questions.

Plus, the workplace already has smartphones, and isn't that enough for the average intellectual property attorney to worry about for now? I think so. First things first. Besides, Google Glass makes us look like we're trying a little bit too hard, sort of like a bespeckled Hipster standing around drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. Or maybe that's just me.

Which U.S. State Has the Most Foul-Mouthed Workers?

Robots could put us all out of work by 2045, nurses probably don't want to weigh themselves anymore, and Google's Larry Page doesn't understand why everyone still insists on keeping their medical records private. TGIF, everyone!

Google co-founder Larry Page was speaking at tech mash-up Google I/O yesterday after revealing earlier in the week that he suffers from vocal cord paralysis when he said: "At least in my case I feel I should have done it sooner [revealed his medical condition] and I'm not sure that answer isn't true for most people, so I ask why are people so focused on keeping your medical history private?"

Oh, Larry. Larry, Larry, Larry. We wish you well, but where to start with stating the obvious because the rest of us non-famous, non-Googlegazillionaires just thought en masse: "All of our medical records should be Google-searchable? WTF?" If you happen to live in Ohio, however, then you're not simply thinking this acronym. No, you're saying it loud and proud, because a new study finds Ohioans swear more than anyone else in the country!

Seattle-based mobile marketing company Marchex spent a whole year analyzing more than 600,000 consumer-to-business phone calls, using voice recognition software to pick up on our potty mouths. With any luck, the voice recognition software does a better job translating the word "literally" than MSNBC's Chuck Todd does reading it off of a teleprompter.

Marchex ranked the top states for cussing. The Top Five Most Likely To Swear States (in descending order) are Ohio, Maryland, New Jersey, Louisiana and Illinois. Meanwhile, the Top Five Least Likely To Swear States are Washington (state), Massachusetts, Arizona, Texas and Virginia.

Marchex ranked the "most courteous" states, too. The Top Five states where you're most likely to get a "please" and a "thank you" are South Carolina, North Carolina, Maryland, Louisiana and Georgia. The Top Five states where you're least likely to get a "please" or a "thank you" are Wisconsin, Massachusetts, Indiana, Tennessee and Ohio.

Okay, let's get this straight. According to Marchex's results, residents of Maryland and Louisiana are among the mostly likely to swear, but they're also more likely to say "please" and "thank you" between expletives. Residents of Massachusetts don't swear nearly as much, but they won't say "please" or "thank you," either. Then there are the residents of Ohio, who apparently swear like sailors AND never bother to say "please" or "thank you." Ohio wins!

Men swear the most overall, accounting for two-thirds (66%) of all cursing among the phone calls analyzed.

Since Marchex analyzed work-related phone calls, perhaps we can deduce that Ohio has the nation's Most Likely To Swear Workforce as well? Hmm. Ohio, I swear that you need to read this blog post.

Workplace Bullies Want To Rough Up the Boss Now

When we talk about workplace bullying, we tend to view it from the perspective of bosses bullying employees. But there's a new "trend" sweeping some global workplaces called "upward bullying" in which employees are turning the tables and bullying the boss. Yeah. How do you like them apples?

Upward bullying is apparently all the rage in Australian workplaces. Australia is far away from us, but human nature is the same everywhere. And chances are, American bosses don't want to talk about getting bullied by the rank and file, because it makes them look less managerial -- like bosses who are losing control over their workforces, which, of course, is exactly what's happening.

There are scant articles on the topic of upward bullying, but here's one:

In every company, there is always a cluster of slack workers whose performance is being questioned, a bunch of disciplined employees and a horde of grumbling workers who might have been denied a promotion or a pay rise. These resentful employees may retaliate by abusing their superiors or making false complaints against them. Experts call it "upward bullying", and female bosses and younger managers are bearing the brunt of this indiscretion.

Bosses are humans, too, and some of those who have been victimized by "upward bullying" complain of sleeplessness, anxiety attacks, migraines and even clinical depression.

The norm has always been "bosses as the bullies", but junior employees have turned the tables. How much of a problem is "upward bullying"?

Lawyer Scott McSwan of McKays Solicitors says that "It is a concerning trend". Of the 20 current workplace bullying cases he dealt with, a quarter relates to upward bullying.

Who knows how many American bosses are being verbally, emotionally (and perhaps in a few cases, physically) bullied every day on the job. No statistics exist that I could find. It's an interesting question to consider, however, because it goes against the stereotype of the mean, overbearing boss who is bearing down on the powerless, nervous employee.

Last week's cover story in Time magazine discussed how younger employees are increasingly narcissistic and see no sense of hierarchy in the workplace. If you have a problem at work, then skip over your immediate supervisor and call the CEO directly. Hello!? We're out of pencils in the storage supply closet! Could you get some more down here, stat? What's taking you so long???

I'm kidding, of course, but you get the general idea. If employees, particularly those new to the workforce, no longer see a workplace hierarchy and chain of command to be observed, respected and followed, then what's to keep them from bullying the boss if they damn well feel like it?

I'm not saying that every employee under age 30 is a raging bully in the making -- they're certainly not -- but the disappearing sense of workplace hierarchy and respect for authority in U.S. workplaces could be another emerging layer on top of the "upward bullying" problem. Meanwhile, older employees can turn around and bully a younger boss, too. It goes both ways. And so does modern workplace bullying, apparently.