Which brings up an interesting question: How should you handle embarrassing bodily malfunctions at work?
We all fart, we all get stomach gurgles, we all burp and hiccup, and usually at the worst possible moments. Maybe you "sneezefarted," meaning you sneezed so hard you let one rip at the same time. So awkward and embarrassing. Whatever happens, it's how we handle these situations that counts. The first and trickiest step is whether or not to acknowledge the obvious. Rule of thumb: the more obvious the bodily malfunction, the more you should just own it. If you fart in a staff meeting and everyone heard it, point the finger at yourself (or have someone pull it) and have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Maybe you shouldn't have had those Cajun rice and beans. Yes, feel free to reference lines from the Russian Unicorn if you must. Throw in a few Blazing Saddles jokes for the win.
Your co-workers will appreciate your candor, and God knows we all need a good laugh in this recession. Chances are, your air-clearing emission be one of the only things your co-workers will remember about the meeting, anyway.
If you unleash a silent but deadly fart as you're walking down the hallway and people can't automatically point the finger at you, then simply let the moment pass. It's just between you and your colon. Who, me? It must be that other guy. Then be glad it didn't happen on national television.
For a 2014 scientifish breakdown of farting trends in the office break room, click here.